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Long distance does not have to stop you from trying first position. The position is easy to copy on your own. Use a video call with good quality. Both need a bed and private space. Place your device to show your body clearly. Talk about the plan before you connect. This includes how long to stay in position and what to say. Good lighting helps. A stable connection avoids problems. Focus on the experience.
Action
Position your phone or laptop at the end of the bed so your partner sees your full body. Lie down on your back with knees bent. Ask your partner to copy the same setup on their end. Make sure the lighting lets them see you move.
Pro-Tip
Test the view with a quick test call before you get started.
Spicy Twist
Adjust the angle to show more of your body as you go.
Action
Get into first position on the bed. Move your hips slowly while your partner does the same at the same time. Watch the screen to stay in rhythm. Talk about how the timing feels for you.
Pro-Tip
Count out loud from one to ten to start together.
Spicy Twist
Increase speed only when both are ready.
After dark
Action
One person tells the other exactly how to move in the first position. Describe the speed and angle you want them to use. Switch who gives the directions after five minutes. Stay on the video call the whole time.
Pro-Tip
Use short sentences so your partner can follow easily.
Spicy Twist
Include details about pressure and touch in your instructions.
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Breathe at the same rate while you hold the first position. Inhale and exhale together on the call. Use this rhythm to control the pace of your movements. Keep your eyes on your partner on the screen.
Pro-Tip
Practice the breathing pattern for a minute before you start moving.
Spicy Twist
Hold your breath for a few seconds to add tension.
Action
Tell your partner what the first position feels like on your body. Use specific words about the pressure and motion. Listen to their description and respond with your own observations. Keep the position the entire time.
Pro-Tip
Focus on one body part at a time to keep it simple.
Spicy Twist
Ask questions about what they want you to do next.
After dark
Action
Draw one card from the deck to decide on a new way to move in the first position. Follow the instruction on the card with your partner over the video. Repeat with another card if you want to continue.
Pro-Tip
Keep the deck next to the bed before the call starts.
Spicy Twist
Combine two cards for a longer sequence.
After dark
Action
Set a timer for thirty seconds of movement then stop. Both freeze in the first position until the timer ends. Repeat this pattern several times during the call. This adds control to the experience.
Pro-Tip
Use an online timer that both of you can see.
Spicy Twist
The person who moves first during a pause owes a favor.
Action
Stay on the call once you finish the main activity. Lie in a comfortable position near the camera. Talk about which parts felt the best. End the call when both of you feel ready.
Pro-Tip
Keep a blanket handy in case you get cold.
Spicy Twist
Plan the next session based on what worked.
Final Tip
These steps let you try first position even when apart. Practice a few times to get the timing right. Adjust based on what works for both of you.
Common Questions
Both lie in the position on your beds. Set cameras to show your bodies clearly. Move at the same time and describe what you feel.
Begin with clothes on and lights dimmed. Talk about your limits first. Start with short sessions and build up over time.
Choose a room with no interruptions. Use a stable device stand. Test the internet and camera angle ahead of time.
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